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 Humorous Quotes

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Female Number of posts : 147
Location : Ohio
Registration date : 2008-01-27

Character Profile
Name: Sis. Du Wright
Church Attendance: Never Misses a Church Service
Outside Occupation: Researcher

PostSubject: Humorous Quotes   Fri Aug 22, 2008 9:22 am

Humorous


Anyone who says money canít buy happiness obviousaly doesnít know where to shop.

Better days are coming, theyíre called Saturday and Sunday.

I donít repeat gossipÖso listen carefully the first time.

Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Telephone, Telegraph or tell someone at church.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

A womanís work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

A balanced diet consists of a cookie in each hand.

No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day working.

Crafts are cheaper than therapy.

Work is for people who donít know how to fish.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there would be a shortage of fishing poles.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple payments.

I can please one person per day, and today is not your day. Tomorrow isnít looking good either.

Give a man an inch and heíll think heís a ruler.

Marriage is made in heaven; but so are thunder and lightning.

My wife and I have an agreement. I donít try to run her life and I donít try to run mine.

If I canít be seen, Iím on the green.

Eat dessert first.

Never trust a skinny cook.

I only golf on days that end in Y.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just donít have film.

Nothing succeeds like excess.

I can resist anything but temptation.

I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.

Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, Wedding ring and Suffering.

Opinion expressed by the husband in this house are not necessarily those of the management.

Sometimes I wake up grumpyÖ Sometimes I let him sleep.

I cleaned house yesterday. Sorry you missed it.

Help Wanted! Everyone in the house qualifies.

Dull women have immaculate homes.

Iím too busy to be organized.

Housework probably wonít kill youÖbut why take the chance.
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